Brian's Got a Brand New Bag

"Brian's Got a Brand New Bag" is the fourth episode of the eighth season of the animated comedy series Family Guy. It premiered on Fox in the United States on November 8, 2009. The episode follows anthropomorphic dog Brian as he dates a middle-aged woman named Rita whose daughter has stood Brian up. He becomes reluctant to continue their relationship after discovering her numerous health concerns; also, his family continually harasses him. The episode premiered during an "all–Seth MacFarlane" schedule, preceding the live-action episode Seth and Alex's Almost Live Comedy Show.

The episode was written by series regular Tom Devanney and directed by Pete Michels. It received mixed reviews from critics for its storyline and many cultural references. According to Nielsen ratings, it was viewed in 7.38 million homes in its original airing. The episode featured guest performances by Hart Bochner, James Burkholder, Aimee Garcia, Paul Gleason, Jack Samson, Stacey Scowley, Debra Skelton, Reginald VelJohnson, Nana Visitor, Tico Wells, Mae Whitman, and Bruce Willis, along with several recurring guest voice actors for the series. "Brian's Got a Brand New Bag" was released on DVD along with seven other episodes from the season on June 15, 2010. The episode is dedicated to Patrick Swayze.