Ghosting (behavior)

Ghosting, simmering and icing are colloquial terms that describe the practice of suddenly ending all communication and avoiding contact with another person without any apparent warning or explanation and ignoring any subsequent attempts to communicate. In today's digital world, ghosting is often seen as an easy escape from confrontation or emotional discomfort, facilitated by the anonymity and convenience of online platforms.

The term originated in the early 2000s, typically referring to dating and romantic relationships. In the following decade, the use of the term ghosting has increased, which has been attributed to the increasing use of social media and online dating apps. The term has also expanded to refer to similar practices among friends, family members, employers and businesses.

The most common cause of ghosting in a personal relationship is to avoid emotional discomfort in a relationship. Those who ghost typically seek to avoid the awkwardness or emotional strain that comes with confronting a situation directly. LeFebre (2017) adds that ghosting is often a strategic move, not merely a sign of disinterest but a way to avoid emotional confrontation..

According to the psychological research, ghosting in romantic and platonic relationships is often connected to self-centered or avoidant personality traits, but it can also indicate deeper emotional issues such as depression or anxiety.

A person ghosting typically has little acknowledgment of how it will make the other person feel. Ghosting is associated with negative mental health effects on the person on the receiving end and has been described by some mental health professionals as a passive-aggressive form of emotional abuse or cruelty.

Ghosting has become more prevalent. Various explanations have been suggested, but social media is often blamed, as are dating apps, polarizing politics and the relative anonymity and isolation in modern-day dating and hookup culture, which make it easier to sever contact with few social repercussions. In addition, the more commonplace the behavior becomes, the more individuals can become desensitized to it. Toma and Choi (2020) argue that these platforms exacerbate ghosting, as they create environments where people feel less accountable for their actions. Ghosting is now more than a romantic issue; it extends to various types of communication, including professional environments, where ghosting can lead to feelings of exclusion or frustration. Research by Barber and Santuzzi (2015) highlights the concept of "telepressure", a form of emotional distress that occurs when someone feels compelled to respond quickly to digital messages. The longer a person waits without receiving a response, the greater the emotional strain becomes.

In 2014, a YouGov survey was taken to see if Americans have ever ghosted their partner to end a relationship. In that survey, 1,000 US adults were interviewed about ghosting, yielding the result that just over 10% of Americans have ghosted someone to break up with them.